lol, no you're not.
I had a personal loss recently that made me stop to think about how incredibly precious life is. To even think about why a person would commit hundreds of man hours to digging into the lives of people they disagree with just baffles me.
I can't understand at all why these little cabal of women would dedicate their lives to fighting those who transition. What pleasure do they derive from criticizing others so vehemently?
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I should write more stuff
But I don't feel like reading all these cackling hens raging against trans-men for no real reason.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Butch Women and Femme-ophobia
Some butch women seem to contradict themselves by sneering at traditional femininity, even as they are railing against society for hating women.
Butch women proudly insist that they were "NEVER feminine" (as if that would be absurd) or that they always preferred "overalls and buzz cuts" over traditionally feminine ways of presenting. The way they talk about femininity insinuates that girly things are silly or inherently less valuable than the traditionally masculine things that they prefer. Which is curious, because they seem to get really angry when the Patriarchy devalues women or feminine things. So which is it? Is it okay to value masculinity over femininity, as long as men don't do it?
Butch women may develop this tough exterior because they spend their lives in a world that is hostile to them based on the way they present. It's kind of like being around an abused animal. An abused animal is snarling and defensive with everyone immediately. They are used to being attacked, are tense and ready to react at any moment, as a defense mechanism to having been hurt in the past. In that situation, it's easy to understand that attitude. That same defensiveness is evident in the way that some butch women interact with people, online and in the world.
To be butch is to present masculinity in a female body. The rejection of feminine things as "silly" and beneath them, is because these women have to constantly assert and re-assert their masculinity to the larger world that either refuses to recognize it, or doesn't take it seriously. They are uncomfortable accepting femininity, because that would bring their fragile presentation of masculinity into question.
A trans-male is also presenting masculinity in a biologically female body. By contrast, however, once a person passes, the world recognizes that masculinity without question. (Passing can be accomplished with hormones or without it.) This fact will make a lot of butch women angry. They will criticize trans-guys for "conforming" or accepting the "gender straight jacket"with righteous indignation. In a way, they are correct. That doesn't change the fact that they are always and will be fighting for acceptance that I, presenting and accepted as male, am granted easily and without question. I value the peace of not having to fight to be who I am over whatever satisfaction they receive from being right.
It wasn't a choice between presenting as butch or presenting as male. Butch women get confused in thinking that trans-guys are just butches who went on testosterone. I have never been butch, or wanted to be.
Butch women proudly insist that they were "NEVER feminine" (as if that would be absurd) or that they always preferred "overalls and buzz cuts" over traditionally feminine ways of presenting. The way they talk about femininity insinuates that girly things are silly or inherently less valuable than the traditionally masculine things that they prefer. Which is curious, because they seem to get really angry when the Patriarchy devalues women or feminine things. So which is it? Is it okay to value masculinity over femininity, as long as men don't do it?
Butch women may develop this tough exterior because they spend their lives in a world that is hostile to them based on the way they present. It's kind of like being around an abused animal. An abused animal is snarling and defensive with everyone immediately. They are used to being attacked, are tense and ready to react at any moment, as a defense mechanism to having been hurt in the past. In that situation, it's easy to understand that attitude. That same defensiveness is evident in the way that some butch women interact with people, online and in the world.
To be butch is to present masculinity in a female body. The rejection of feminine things as "silly" and beneath them, is because these women have to constantly assert and re-assert their masculinity to the larger world that either refuses to recognize it, or doesn't take it seriously. They are uncomfortable accepting femininity, because that would bring their fragile presentation of masculinity into question.
A trans-male is also presenting masculinity in a biologically female body. By contrast, however, once a person passes, the world recognizes that masculinity without question. (Passing can be accomplished with hormones or without it.) This fact will make a lot of butch women angry. They will criticize trans-guys for "conforming" or accepting the "gender straight jacket"with righteous indignation. In a way, they are correct. That doesn't change the fact that they are always and will be fighting for acceptance that I, presenting and accepted as male, am granted easily and without question. I value the peace of not having to fight to be who I am over whatever satisfaction they receive from being right.
It wasn't a choice between presenting as butch or presenting as male. Butch women get confused in thinking that trans-guys are just butches who went on testosterone. I have never been butch, or wanted to be.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
How Transition Affects People Who Don't Transition
...it doesn't.
Arguments that the mere concept of transition is somehow going to destroy all women everywhere are as unfounded and contrived as the arguments religious zealots make against gay marriage.
The common theme between those two issues is someone choosing to involve themselves too deeply in the private lives of others. No one is saying that you have to go out and be friends with every trans-guy and respect their desire to be called he/him if you don't want to. If you don't like trans-men, don't hang out with them. If you disagree with the idea of transition, ....(wait for it)... Don't Transition! Nobody has a gun to anyone's head forcing them to transition or to approve of it as a valid life decision, but some people sure act like it. I have yet to hear even one plausible reason how or why my transition effects anyone outside my family and circle of friends.
I have had the conversation about marriage equality conversation with anti-gay people before. "Ok, say a gay male couple moves next door to you, plants a vegetable garden, engages in hot gay sex everyday within the confines of their own home. How does that effect you?" Their answers are ridiculous:
Arguments that the mere concept of transition is somehow going to destroy all women everywhere are as unfounded and contrived as the arguments religious zealots make against gay marriage.
The common theme between those two issues is someone choosing to involve themselves too deeply in the private lives of others. No one is saying that you have to go out and be friends with every trans-guy and respect their desire to be called he/him if you don't want to. If you don't like trans-men, don't hang out with them. If you disagree with the idea of transition, ....(wait for it)... Don't Transition! Nobody has a gun to anyone's head forcing them to transition or to approve of it as a valid life decision, but some people sure act like it. I have yet to hear even one plausible reason how or why my transition effects anyone outside my family and circle of friends.
I have had the conversation about marriage equality conversation with anti-gay people before. "Ok, say a gay male couple moves next door to you, plants a vegetable garden, engages in hot gay sex everyday within the confines of their own home. How does that effect you?" Their answers are ridiculous:
- my kids will be confused
- God says it's wrong
- Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve
- it will destroy America
They can make up reasons, they're just not good ones. Truth is, no one can ever name one concrete effect that gay marriage would have on their lives. In reality, it won't. It's just better to try to justify your opinion, than come out honestly and say, "Ew, I just don't like it."
Anti-trans internet "activists" are the same way. They make heaps of doomsday predictions about how someone transitioning will empower the Patriarchy/ destroy feminism/ unleash Armageddon, but none of those excuses are real either. If these people were honest with themselves, they would just admit the truth. "Ew, I just don't like it." Some obvious reasons, especially concerning butch lesbians, are jealousy, confusing trans-guys with actually being butch lesbians, embarrassment that transition will make all those people right when they claimed that "lesbians just want to be men".
My transition doesn't affect a single lesbian, butch or otherwise, in the entire world. I don't even know any lesbians.
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